fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
