worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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