Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
