toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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