Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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