I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
