he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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