evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Fuck appropriateness.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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