I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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