well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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