matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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