You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
