My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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