His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
