I want to stick my p in your. b.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She bit a glass in half.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
