Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Boobs speak an international language.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
