found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
