you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
