I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
