Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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