Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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