sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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