now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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