my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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