goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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