Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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