she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
