Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The air taste purple.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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