You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
