I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
