he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
