i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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