you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
