Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize