too bad you live with your parents still
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
