I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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