When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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