just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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