I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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