They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
