You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
