my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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