Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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