Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
