their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
