So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My bed smells like the plague
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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