The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
