is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
