return my video game
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
