Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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