btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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