he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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