what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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