do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
