I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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