i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you