Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?

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(585): Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF? http://tfl.nu/wdl8

Replies (59) Good night (3738) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

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(404): I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner. http://tfl.nu/q9zc

Replies (2) Good night (2629) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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(905): View more from Ontario

She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris

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(905): She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris http://tfl.nu/nmbr

Replies (43) Good night (8678) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.

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(334): This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back. http://tfl.nu/st6c

Replies (36) Good night (15231) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"

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(516): no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?" http://tfl.nu/24qc

Replies (8) Good night (4722) Bad night (1872) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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(630): He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick. http://tfl.nu/e6nk

Replies (29) Good night (1057) Bad night (5843) Order T-Shirt
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(951): View more from California

I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.

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(951): I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them. http://tfl.nu/loif

Replies (33) Good night (1848) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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(402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9

Replies (14) Good night (2509) Bad night (475)
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(770): View more from Georgia

How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?

(678): View more from Georgia

4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee

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(770): How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night? (678): 4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee http://tfl.nu/1zan

Replies (7) Good night (998) Bad night (271)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.

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(989): I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus. http://tfl.nu/jo2t

Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you

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(925): Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you http://tfl.nu/oly8

Replies (11) Good night (767) Bad night (1424)
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(561): View more from Florida

So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.

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(561): So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure. http://tfl.nu/8h8j

Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (199)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.

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(775): Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me. http://tfl.nu/b0yd

Replies (3) Good night (230) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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(289): View more from Ontario

Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.

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(289): Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes. http://tfl.nu/y1u0

Replies (8) Good night (258) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.

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(763): I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down. http://tfl.nu/nif2

Replies (7) Good night (403) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt

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