The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize