never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(