i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...