Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
