I don't think brook has ever known best
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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